Intertribal Challenges Faced By Most Women in Relationships

Through many years of my youth, I have witnessed so many cultures and traditions that has been followed through till this present generation commonly in places like Igbo, Hausa and Yoruba to be precise. Their various lifestyles has been their stronghold and pride whereby people living in these ethnic groups follow the footsteps of their ancestors and customs or practices in their land and these factors may include their religion, festivity, marriage rites, language, values and beliefs, food and/or diet, art, to mention just few.

Based on the aforementioned, these factors are centered majorly on crisis found within marriage rites of two different people[man and woman] from different ethic groups who falls in love with each other but are yet still battling to push through with their plan to be together and build their homes without further interference of both families or extended family members. This problem often begin during the first stage of the relationship between the man and the woman where either of them is mentally debating if their union would last for a lifetime or prolly momentarily. A typical example of this can be seen when a woman born in an Igbo land and practice Christianity gets herself engaged with a Muslim man. These two grown couple sometimes debate within themselves whether their union would yield something beautiful or chaos after saying “YES!” to marring him especially if he/she is the first to marry from a totally different place other than their land.

Moreover, questions like this keeps popping into their heads…
“Am I making the right choice?”
“ Is his family going to accept me?”
“What would become of me and our children if we eventually neglect these warnings from our families?”
“Would these choices make or break my family apart especially with our kids?”
“Would this make me abandon my religion that I have been practicing for years for his/hers?” etc.

Meanwhile, they battle their conscience day and night trying to find answers to their confusion and/or problems to satisfy their curiosities even when they are both comfortable being with each other. Due to this reason, either of them may start to find other alternatives, that is, seeking out for another partner causing him to lose his/her attention or focus in the other which could result to infidelity and less communication all for the sake of not jeopardizing his/her family.

Parents on the other hand should quit any form of stereotypes and discouragement when they discover plans like this with their child or children due to past experiences encountered by themselves or people close to them. In that case, they should try to educate them on what to expect, or the possible changes that may occur when being married to these group of people[Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba etc] or otherwise help to guide them if ever they come across any sort of difficulties in their marriages because it only “TAKES TWO TO TANGO”.