WHAT TEENAGERS THINK AND WHAT THEIR PARENTS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT

A very high percentage of teenagers complain of not being heard by their parents. They throw tantrums with the mindset that parents just give instructions without listening to what they have to say.

They have the notion that parents assume the position of always being right in all situations. Because of this assumption, teens cower around their parents and get lost in their fluidity of words.

The preeminent issue amongst teenagers has been about opening up to someone who isn’t judgmental about their flaws, someone who gives them an assurance of being loved no matter how much they fault.

Teens aren’t living in denial of wanting to be disciplined; rather, they are perturbed about not being heard.

While it has been noted that most parents fall under this complaint by teenagers, it is also important to address the fact that most teenagers prefer to open up to their friends rather than their parents.

A lot of parents have taken to beating themselves up and living in guilt as to what wrong they have done in raising their children because of the behaviour they portray.

They leave in dismay for being awful parents and for having kids who can’t listen to them. They are scared of what the world will say about their parenting style; they are scared of what will become of these children.

It is a thin line between a teen and his parents. A teenager says, “My parents don’t listen to me.” His parents say, “With the way he’s going, will he turn out right?.

Asher says in the movie ‘Grimcutty’, “If you want your parents to listen, you’re going to have to listen. And you have to be honest. Otherwise, how are they going to know?

If you are a parent, I would love to say it’s okay not to understand everything that is going on with us; it doesn’t mean you screwed up somewhere. It just means you are human.

And being human is scary sometimes. You might be afraid of what’s going to happen next, but that’s okay. You have done really well.

To bridge the thin line between a teenager’s thoughts and those of his parents.

There’s a need to create a relationship with the teen—the kind of relationship that says we are a team. I need your contribution as well as mine. I will always listen with rapt attention. I will discipline you and still give you room to express yourself. I am going to always worry about you, and that’s because I love you. I will wrong you, and I will willingly apologise when you draw my attention to it.

Just like you have your worries about your teen, your teen also has theirs about you, which sometimes stirs resentment depending on how you go about these things. Teenagehood is the time to build friendships with your child; it will help them to be expressive and open up when necessary.

Teenage moments usher in a life of independence for your child. Thread wisely in this season of their lives.

Written by Doris Chisom